One of the reasons I wanted to start Titan Talk was to occasionally share some things I’ve learned after more than 25 years working in schools. These aren’t meant to be instructions for anyone else. They’re simply things I’ve come to believe matter as we prepare students for life beyond LOA.

One of those is learning to own our choices.

We spend a lot of time in education talking about preparing students academically. Obviously, that matters. But eventually every student will leave us, and being prepared for what comes next will require much more than academic knowledge.

Life is full of choices.

Some turn out well. Some don’t. Sometimes we make the right choice and things still don’t go our way. And sometimes things happen to us that we had absolutely no control over.

That’s life.

What I’ve learned from working with young people is that there is tremendous value in helping them understand the difference between what they can control and what they can’t.

When a student makes a good choice and experiences success, we want them to see that connection.

When a student makes a poor choice and experiences a consequence, that doesn’t have to be the end of the story. In many ways, that’s where the learning can begin.

What happened?

What part of it belongs to me?

What can I learn from it?

And most importantly, what will I choose next?

A disappointing grade can lead a student to prepare differently the next time.

A mistake with a friend can lead to an apology and an opportunity to rebuild trust.

A difficult decision can become a lesson that prevents a much bigger mistake later in life.

Those aren’t always comfortable lessons, but some of the most important lessons I’ve watched young people learn over the years haven’t been comfortable ones.

Of course, not everything that happens is the result of a choice a student made. Sometimes life just hands us something difficult. Sometimes something happens that isn’t fair. Sometimes another person makes a decision that affects us.

We can’t always control those things.

But even then, there is usually a next choice.

How will I respond? Who can I ask for help? What can I control from here?

That is something we want our students to learn while they are still surrounded by teachers, coaches, counselors, administrators, and other adults at LOA who care about them. School should be a place where students can make mistakes appropriate to their age, experience reasonable consequences, receive support, learn from them, and try again.

They are still children, and we certainly don’t expect them to handle every situation like adults. Learning how to make decisions, accept responsibility, handle disappointment, and respond when things don’t go their way is part of growing up.

For me, that’s part of preparing students for life beyond LOA.

I’ve watched a lot of students walk across a graduation stage over the years. Of course, I want them leaving us able to write well, think critically, solve problems, and succeed academically.

But I want something else for them, too.

I want them to understand that they have more control over the direction of their lives than they sometimes realize.

Their choices matter. When they get something wrong, they can learn from it. When they experience disappointment, they can grow through it. And when life hands them something they never chose, they still get to decide how they respond.

Long after they’ve forgotten a formula, a vocabulary word, or something that was on a test, life will keep asking them the same question:

What will you choose next?

Dr. B